{Agh! Stress!}

I'm so completely stressed about work! I woke up at 2 in the morning thinking about it. That's INSANE!! It's all because of Ross too. I'm worried because in our Form 5 at work, he didn't give it to me to sign but talked to Russ about it. Is this another instance where he has an opinion about something I've done/not done but isn't sharing it with me directly?! I don't know. I have to wait until I get into work tomorrow to find out. Did I offend him again somehow? I don't know. Ugh. I really do not like that guy. I hate that they compare Jen and I on everything. Don't they realize we have two different learning styles?! I hate being judged about every little thing. I feel judged anyway. It's because I judge myself. I should NEVER have agreed to do this training and certification. I've only been here for 9 months! Not even 9 months yet. Jen memorizes everything she sees, she knows it and I know it. I can't do that. I don't have that kind of memory. But she certified and now the pressure is on. If the test is truly based on JUST what's in the JQS, I know I'll be fine but Ross throws so much more into it that it stresses me out. Russ isn't confident in me as well. I had confidence. It was stolen away with the lack of confidence others has in me. That's my fault and at the same time, I'm like I'll show them but fuck I'm tired. I'm just ready for this to be over. Ross made me feel so completely better at the end of our training session yesterday by telling me that the not one operator has ever been fired over missing an event but leads have. Thank you, Ross.