{Time for me}

Today is camping trip day but I'm not going.  Why? Because I'm an idiot.  Not really.  It's time for a recharge. I've spent so much time with other people, either working with them or socializing with them, that I just need to not talk to anyone or be with anyone.  Yesterday I worked out with C and then went to his pool and got food with him.  It was the last time (except for the working out part; I'll still do that with him). I told the guys though that my stomach bug was back and that is partly true based on my workout from yesterday and the fact that my stomach still hurts.  I know though that if I tell them I don't want to go because I just want to be by myself that I'll get made fun of.  It's not what I want to hear right now.  I'd rather them make fun of me because of a stupid stomach bug. They go too far with their teasing sometimes but it's all dumb stuff so doesn't even really feel like it should be mentioned.  Besides, even if you did mention it, you'd still get made fun of for that also.  It's ridiculous but I'd rather this than everyone being serious all the time.  Anyway, it's why I just need time to myself.  So, I completely have today and tomorrow all to myself. Even C won't know I have this time to myself.  He wouldn't care anyway because it'll be his time without his son so he'll be partying it up.  I've also just felt not quite myself.  Depression? It really started when my Aunt made fun of my hair. She mentioned getting her hair cut that day and I told her I needed to get mine cut also.  She said, "Yeah you do! You're hair that long makes you look old and ragged. How do you expect to find a man with that hair? I like it better short." This was also followed by my mom just a few days prior on Mother's Day saying, "I'd wish you the same but..." after I called to wish her a happy Mother's Day.  Thank you people who love me. Thanks for talking on my weaknesses that bring on depressed feelings on top of knowing I ALWAYS fall for the guys who aren't into me. Bah. Yep, depression speaking now. I'm going back to my book.