{Time for me}

Today is camping trip day but I'm not going.  Why? Because I'm an idiot.  Not really.  It's time for a recharge. I've spent so much time with other people, either working with them or socializing with them, that I just need to not talk to anyone or be with anyone.  Yesterday I worked out with C and then went to his pool and got food with him.  It was the last time (except for the working out part; I'll still do that with him). I told the guys though that my stomach bug was back and that is partly true based on my workout from yesterday and the fact that my stomach still hurts.  I know though that if I tell them I don't want to go because I just want to be by myself that I'll get made fun of.  It's not what I want to hear right now.  I'd rather them make fun of me because of a stupid stomach bug. They go too far with their teasing sometimes but it's all dumb stuff so doesn't even really feel like it should be mentioned.  Besides, even if you did mention it, you'd still get made fun of for that also.  It's ridiculous but I'd rather this than everyone being serious all the time.  Anyway, it's why I just need time to myself.  So, I completely have today and tomorrow all to myself. Even C won't know I have this time to myself.  He wouldn't care anyway because it'll be his time without his son so he'll be partying it up.  I've also just felt not quite myself.  Depression? It really started when my Aunt made fun of my hair. She mentioned getting her hair cut that day and I told her I needed to get mine cut also.  She said, "Yeah you do! You're hair that long makes you look old and ragged. How do you expect to find a man with that hair? I like it better short." This was also followed by my mom just a few days prior on Mother's Day saying, "I'd wish you the same but..." after I called to wish her a happy Mother's Day.  Thank you people who love me. Thanks for talking on my weaknesses that bring on depressed feelings on top of knowing I ALWAYS fall for the guys who aren't into me. Bah. Yep, depression speaking now. I'm going back to my book.

{Bah, Stomach Bug}

UUGGHH!!  My tummy hurts so bad! I'm not sure what gave me the stomach bug but I can't keep food in me.  I've still gotta go to the store for some meds to see if that will help.  All the stores were closed when I left work last night.  I always feel bad leaving work but my stomach hurt too much and I'd rather do what I was doing in the comforts of my home with my soft TP (HaHa!!) than be at work. I'm scared to eat anything right now.  So, yesterday after I got off work I was texting with C and asked him if his section had to go to our 6pm meeting later in the day.  He said, "No, we are not in your 'chain of command'."  My response was, Ah and then, "Well that's good and gets rid of one of your excuses muahahaha ;)"  His response was just LOL. Ohhh yeah, I also found out he asked H a very personal question about mine and H's time together.  I was shocked.  Ha, I say I found out but C is the one who told me while he was drunk.  When I got home I sent him a text that basically said I was done with talking about H; that there were things about the whole situation that he (C) knows nothing about that makes me angry and that he just needed to get over it, that I was.  He called the next day and apologized for making me angry, that he didn't mean to.  He said he didn't even know why he brought it up other than just being drunk.  I said it was all good and it was.  I also got very jealous that night because an ex invited him over and he was gonna do it!  I asked him when we talked the next day if he hooked up with her and he SAID no, that he ended up just going home but a friend said that was guy speak for he did go over there.  Bah.  Oh well, we're not together.  It's funny because the friend invited the 2 of us together to play tennis with him and his wife.  I was like, you know we're NOT a couple despite all the hanging out we do so I can only speak for myself when I say, yes I would play tennis with you guys.

You know, it's funny.  I know that anyone in the world can read this blog but it makes me feel ten times better than just writing it down.  I'm ok with that.  I also know I only really talk about C but I can't help that.  He's on my mind more often than not.  I look forward to his texts and all the hanging out we do.  I even like that he CALLS.  My feelings are going to get hurt, I know, but can't help myself.

{New Tattoo}

Yesterday I got my 7th tattoo. 

The shading on the tree is what hurt the most but overall it wasn't too bad.  AND it only cost $150! She'd originally estimated $300-400; so I definitely was pleasantly surprised.  C showed up during the middle of it and she and I got food afterwards.  I told her about the talk between me and C. She said it's funny because every time he comes into the section he always looks for me first. I kinda didn't want to hear that.  It doesn't matter because nothing's going to happen.  I was on the prowl Friday though with Hottie D haha who was helping me set-up my new accounts. We shall see. My feelings did kinda get hurt yesterday because I was trying to invite myself out haha but he (C) was not having it. *sigh*  He should just do it already.  Worse case scenario is we end up hating each other (unlikely though) but the best case scenario is that it's amazing! Guys.

{Blah}

This too shall pass. It really will. I hope it will...

{Interesting}

What an interesting day.

On another note, I've been doing pretty good with working out.  I had a great workout today.

{Blah}

I finished a book called "Those Who Save Us" tonight. What a great book!  I did NOT like the lack of punctuation used, especially for quotes.  Otherwise, however, the story line was great. Despite the punctuation issues, I couldn't put the book down.  It was about a German woman and her daughter's story. I won't lie, it did make me cry. Books tend to do that to me though. They make you think of the similarities of certain aspects of your life compared to this fictional story.  Ironic?

Did I mention I'm giving up alcohol for 31 days?  I forget if I did or not so I'll have to check back to the previous blog.

I've been doing ok with working out. I did not workout these last 2 days.  Today I was extremely tired and practically falling asleep on the couch while watching TV to pass the time.  Now, I seem to be wide awake.  It seems to be that way lately though; unable to sleep at the right time.  Too much on the brain I suppose.  I am determined to workout in the morning so I supposed I'd best try to get to sleep.  Looks like it may be a 2 red bull type of day again tomorrow. Yay.

{I'm Lame}

First, the non-lame part... I was thinking of not drinking for an entire month to see how much it would help with losing weight.  I briefly mentioned it to C today and she thought it would be pretty cool also.  D overheard me and bet that I couldn't do it.  I, of course, insisted that I could, and we shook on it.  So, it's official now:  I am going to be alcohol free for 31 days (makes me sound like an alcoholic lol).  Perfect timing with tomorrow being May 1.  :)

On to my lameness... So, I'm really interested in C. I think he's hilarious (my huge weakness).  I had a small crush on R also and, at one point, thought I was more interested in R than C.  Turns out that spending more time with C has made me more into him.  I didn't quite realize how much so until R invited me to a get-together at one of the guy's place.  I initially said I should be able to go but then the more I thought about it, the more I thought I didn't want to because I like C.  THAT'S SO LAME AND RIDICULOUS of me.  C has already said, "I have a rule that I do not date co-workers." WTH is my deal then? Blah.  This is not like me at all to care about what a guy thinks who's already stated he won't date me.

Well, here's something I just thought about.  I told R that we should hang out while sober since the other two times we've hung out we've both been pretty drunk (I know I was anyway). So, I haven't really talked to him since that last drunken time. I figured, if he was interested then he'd contact me. That was a little more than a week ago. The first time he invites me to do anything is to go drinking with the guys? Really?  THAT'S pretty lame. I'm not impressed with that really.  What I AM impressed with is a guy taking charge. That's what confuses me with C; he's done that twice now and I like it.  Gah.

Confuzzeled