{A-Ha Moments}

So, I worked last night. It was long and boring. I thought for sure I could sleep for hours once I got home. It didn't happen though. I, surprisingly, woke-up at 10'ish this morning (only 4 hours of sleep). I looked through Instagram and chatted with a friend via text for a little bit. I was extremely tired though and I'm not sure what time I fell back asleep, but I did fall back asleep.  When I woke-up I was, again, surprised at the time. It was 2:45 p.m. I just lay there though and didn't get up right away. It was then I had an "A-Ha" moment where something just clicked for me. Instead of writing it out to you, readers, I'll write it out to him.

Dear G: 

I get it now. I get how happy you are. I get that there was absolutely nothing, nothing, at all I could have done that would have made you as happy as you are now.

You are truly living your dream right now. For that, I am happy for you. 

With the loss you suffered as a child, you deserve this. Know she is at your side, living this dream with you like no one ever could right now.

With the pain your ex put you through many years ago, you deserve this. You deserve to be exactly where you are right now.

I am glad you did not settle and settling is what you would have done had you stayed with me.

You are surrounded by people who want, and are living, the same dream as you right now.

I do still love you, and I always will, time and a-ha moments have finally set me free as well.

Love, 

Me

Dear Future Love:

I always wonder what you're doing right now and if you're happy.

I wonder what your life is like, if you at least live in the same state as myself or if you're living from afar right now.

I have found myself trying to settle constantly with what I think I deserve. I try being patient but loneliness gets to me. I found a quote though through an unknowing friend that has left me more open than I ever thought. 

"Rejection is God's way of saying, "Wrong direction."

I hope you're a loving man.

 A man who adores his family as much as you'll adore me. 

I hope you have supportive friends who are just as kind as generous as you are.

I can't wait to meet you and get to know you.

Love,

Me

Now that I'm thoroughly depressed, ha okay not really, I'm gonna go run it off with W2D3 of C25K.